A Shattered Soul

Well where does one begin. Yes, I know everyone says at the beginning but what is the beginning of our story, truly! Is it when that first ounce of hope is put out into the world when a couple want a baby or is it when they feel that first flutter as the baby kicks for the first time. For me I think it is a combination of these factors. So lets take a journey from the late 80's to the present.

1988

It was Australia's Bicentennial year. The world was still abuzz and alive after Vietnam and the Mardi Gras was still very much celebrated. So let's dive in. It was a very warm and dry February day in Sydney. The town was coming alive with parade routes being set up, drag queens were getting ready for the night ahead and god knows what drugs were being taken. Hidden away in the South western suburbs of Sydney were a close to middle aged couple that had found love with each other after a lot of heartache. Antonio a suburban country boy that was a soldier in our defense services and Rachael a petite country gal. Between them they had six children already but the little princess that was dancing up a storm in Rachael's belly would make the very welcome seventh and the perfect blend of the family. Now this little princess wasn't due until April, so the couple went on their merry way with daily life not knowing just how exciting Mardi Gras would become for them. By the evening a tired Rachael settled on the couch with Antonio to watch the parade live on the TV, when the future little Raquel decided she was ready to make her entrance.

In the most dramatic fashion this sent the expectant couple scrambling for the city to the Royal Women's Hospital in the busy Kings Cross. As the couple approached Oxford st they were faced with a site no couple want to be faced with during an emotionally charged moment. THE PARADE, was coming straight for them. Rachael not wanting to give birth in the middle of the parade demanded that Antonio step on it and find another way around. When they made it to the hospital, the nurses were quite disappointed that they would have to work, so gave they a concerned Rachael an injection to stop the labor. Saddened that her labor had stopped, the expectant couple headed home and continued to await the arrival of their princess. After a long 6 weeks, the doctor scheduled a c-section for the petite Rachael as it looked like their princess had taken up permanent residence not wanting to make her entrance anytime soon. Just four short days later at 9:01am a vocal young lady came into the world full of sass under a stream on sunshine on an overcast day. She was here Raquel Janice with a fine crop of blonde hair barely taking up any space in her daddies hands was very much loved and accepted into the family. Rachael home just mere days later looked after their angel while Antonio went back to work. Every chance possible Antonio would snuggle his angel hopeful of what was to come for his little girl.

The 1990's

This was a very tricky time for the family. Between having to move so Antonio could study some further skills for his job then having to move back to Sydney to continue his career, dealing with a health crisis for Rachael and pneumonia for little Raquel, the family battled but they never let life beat them. Little did they know some of the biggest challenges laid ahead for them. Antonio, who in the mid 80's broke his back during a failed helicopter training exercise, faced a major set back that led to him having to retire from the defense force. Rachael who had returned to work also faced her own life changing health dilemma. The family rallied together to support her through it. There were times where they just weren't sure that she would survive. She had malignant cancer of her face and jaw. The surgery alone was traumatic for the family but they didn't give up. Poor Rachael then had to face enduring rounds of chemo and radiation therapy. Rachael continued trying to work, often sitting at her computer with her liquid lunch being drip fed into her stomach. There were many days that she wasn't able to work. The not so little Raquel, supported her mother heart and soul through everything. Raquel was constantly scared that she would loose her biggest supporter and the woman she looked up to.

By December, the treatment had finished but the ongoing effects had not. It was not uncommon for Rachael to wake up and have to shower with her pillow as it was stuck to the skin that would constantly breakdown. Raquel had finished her primary schooling, while it was tough she did well. Now being the school holidays this gave some reprieve to the family. The eldest of Rachael's kids flew in from Switzerland with his wife and mother in law. As the Australian family weren't able to witness the marriage of Shaun and Tiffany, a renewal of vows was planned. The kids all rallied around to encourage Antonio and Rachael to also renew their vows at the same time as they had been through so much of their own hell that it was a time to start fresh. With Raquel and Amelia ( Raquel's older sister and Rachael's other daughter) as bridesmaids, the couples committed their lives to each other in front of family and friends. It was a glorious western suburbs day, held at the home built by Antonio and Rachael. Love was definitely in the air. Not long after this special day, Shaun and Tiffany had to return home as Tiffany had some big legal cases she had to handle and Shaun had some homes that needed completing to be handed over to the big clients who were waiting. Unfortunately, for Raquel and her family this meant the emotion of saying goodbye to them not knowing when they would all be together again, pushed Rachael to relapse and end up in hospital. She was extremely sick. Placed in the palliative care ward it was not looking good. Rachael's mother June, rang Antonio and told him to pack Rachael and Raquel up into the car and bring them to their country place in the Central Highlands of New South Wales.

What would follow was six extremely scary and trying weeks for Raquel as she watched her mother get so sick that even the scales were struggling to produce a weight for her when she stood on them. Antonio came to the property whenever he wasn't working or when they could spare him at his new job post defense life. Antonio, lost not knowing how long his wife was going to remain earth side, disconnected from Raquel. This hurt Raquel but she understood. The couple had been soulmates for years and had already fought battles that would break any standard couple a thousand times over. Raquel felt herself slipping into a dark hole even though she fought hard not to, her family needed her to stay strong but she was just 12 nearly 13. That's a lot for any normal, grown adult to take on let alone a teen preparing for high school.

The Early 2000's

End of January and the family returned to Sydney so that Raquel could return to school. The transition wasn't easy for Raquel. She battled with trying to make friends, something she has smashed out of the park in the past. She was reserved and kept to herself. She did reconnect with some kids she had gone to primary school with, but she still felt the distance. She watched as her sister Amelia who was in Year 11 be the belle of the ball and wanted to be her. In rebellion, she started smoking, stealing and fighting in a hope that the pain she was suffering would be noticed. Sadly the only people who noticed were the bad boys at the school, the very same kids that she idolized in primary school. Mitchell, the future man whore of the school took an interest in Raquel. She was so shocked that she let him lead her astray. By the middle of the first year of high-school, Raquel had nearly been expelled for fighting. The only saving grace was that her sister Amelia came to her defense and forced the school to stop and think about what may have pushed Raquel to be like this. To protect Raquel, it was decided that a school closer to home would be better. Little did the family know this could be the worst decision ever. She no longer had the second mentor in her life there to guide her.

2001

This is the year seen a lot of changes. Raquel had changed schools the year prior but struggled even harder than the previous school to make friends. With her grades slipping badly, she went into a really dark place. This led to her being vulnerable to some pretty severe bullying. At times she had stuff dropped from the second story of classrooms on her to bubblegum and rotten bananas being smooshed into her school books. Her only saving grace was meeting Anton. While has was a more senior student who her rocked her world, he showed her that there were real men out there that even at a young age could love with their whole heart. Sadly the bullying got too much and after a head injury, it was decided that Raquel would be shipped over to the Anglican College closer to home. Having to leave Anton behind hurt Raquel but she was confident that their love could conquer anything.

He had gone quiet during the school holidays after a fight with his parents over her. Raquel struggled with this because they knew their love was real. Her calls went unanswered or met with being told he wasn't home. Raquel didn't know what she had done wrong but she hoped that once school went back they would be able to have contact through the school computers and could work on the issues. First day of school happened and no emails, no Anton online. She hoped that it was just that he was busy. Later that night while Raquel was watching TV after dinner, the phone rang. Bouncing up to answer it thinking it was Anton, the biggest shock of her young life was yet to come. On the other end of the phone was Anton's cousin who had gone to school with them . When Raquel answered, all the cousin could say was where the fuck were you?, of course this confused Raquel. Of course she asked what was meant, only to be asked why the fuck weren't you at Anton's funeral today, you said you loved him?. Raquel collapsed, in a pit of tears, Rachael ran to her daughters side. How could it be true, how could her first true love be dead. How could this world be so cruel. Rachael tried to help her daughter through this but nothing could help her she felt empty. Raquel's marks continued to drop at school. The College were good at trying to support Raquel but there was only so much they could do. The Christmas holidays arrived and dragged for Raquel. Not going out much she sat in her room, crying, writing, singing, anything to fill the quiet to try and help her heart heal.

2002-2003

When school returned, the past year had taken a massive toll on Raquel, again making her vulnerable to teasing. Now in the fundamental years of high school this was the chance for Raquel to make or break, she knew this just wasn't sure how to achieve it. Often taking time off school for not being well, under going testing and no reason for her pain, weight gain or lack of progress in puberty, she gave up even more than she already had. Even army cadets didn't help her. Teachers tried to encourage Raquel to talk but she didn't know what to talk about. Raquel and her father Antonio had become close now that he wasn't able to work. They would often watch Sunrise in the morning then have a mini debate on the way to school. By September they had some very funny ones. Then one day, Raquel got up and her father just wasn't in the mood. Everyone was sure it was his back giving him trouble, how wrong would they be. Just hours later while an injured Raquel watched on at P.E Class, Antonio was fighting for his life at home. The senior teacher came to get her to take her to the hospital. Raquel the ever stoic , tried not to cry, she just wanted to get to the hospital to support her mother. When she got to the hospital, her father was still alive but it was touch and go. After a very long afternoon, while Antonio underwent emergency surgery, Raquel supported Rachael with love and as many hugs as she could possibly give. Raquel didn't know what else to do. Here was a couple that had almost lost each other once but now even closer again and no definite as to how Antonio was going to be when he woke up from his coma. Day in and day out she sat at the hospital with her mother waiting, watching and praying that he would recover. Just three days later he woke up, he still had all his marbles and could still quote healthy medical readings. Ah what a relief that was. After a month, Antonio was released from hospital and was finally home. Whilst, there were changes, Raquel had her daddy back.

Antonio had changed a little bit and needed a lot of care. Raquel helped where she could. Rachael was working really long hours. Antonio was often back at the hospital with flare ups of his condition. Greeting ambulances was not something that shocked Raquel anymore. She went into serious mode and was able to rattle of her fathers history faster than the officers could record it but that was Raquel's way of coping. As the year came to an end, the school was worried about her academic profile. She was failing, Raquel didn't care though, family was more important. Starting Year 10 was neither a happy nor a sad time for Raquel, she knew at a minimum she had to get to the end of the year and if her academics hadn't improved she would go get a job or something like that . She didn't care too much otherwise. This worried the principal because he could see her potential but could see she was coping.

Just before the leaver's exams for Year 10, the principal called Raquel to the office to try and encourage and to tell her that no matter what that they were there to help her. Raquel listened but all she could do was to promise that she would put her best foot forward. The exams dragged, some harder than others but what could Raquel do. Finally, the final exam was done and it was time to release the fears and just wait to see the outcome. Raquel went to her Year 10 formal but Antonio was back in hospital so she definitely didn't enjoy it anywhere near as much as she could've. The night came to an end then it was the next day was the Graduation ceremony. Raquel went but didn't go to the subsequent awards ceremony, she knew she had done poorly so she didn't see the point. About a week later the principal called her and Antonio. He wanted to know why they hadn't gone to the awards ceremony. Raquel told him honestly, so he asked if Antonio could bring his daughter in. Raquel had decided she wasn't going back for year 11/12 so she agreed.

When they got in there, the principal stood in the office with a look of utter pride on his face and presented Raquel with her leavers certificate. He congratulated her on not only passing but bringing her grades up from basic fails to near high scores. She had come in the top three of the class for the average students. Her principal then provided her with a highest achiever award, one that he had so desperately wanted to give her at the ceremony.

2004 - 2005

The next few years tested Raquel even harder then she had already been through. The more she wanted to give up the more the universe pushed her. Raquel did a trade certificate and passed with high distinctions. While she was proud of herself she didn't care. How could she, when it seemed like the universe just wanted to keep testing her. I mean in just two short years she had been finally been diagnosed with a condition that as far as the doctors were concerned had left her infertile. She had learned to party and was smoking regularly. Had her heart broken more times than she could count and still kept going. After making some poor life choices including allowing herself be in a situation that ended up with a broken nose. But the biggest test was yet to come.

2006

Well, the year had come. The year for Raquel to officially be declared an adult. Finally, starting to feel settled with life because she was working with Rachael and working independently, she was alive and had great earning potential. Working the better part of 7 days a week, she was tired but she didn't let that stop her. Finally, April came round and she had a nice boyfriend, it was her birthday and she had her license. Life was finally on track. Her and her boyfriend got engaged, moved in together and started planning their life together, things were perfect finally. Catching a bus one day to work because her car was being serviced and she ran into one of her favorite bus drivers. It was the anniversary of Anton's death, so she was a little gloomy. The driver asked her what was wrong and she told him. He went quite ashen and quiet but didn't say anything. The next day the same driver was meant to be on her route to work but he wasn't at the wheel when she got on the bus. She asked where he was. The driver that was on the bus bowed his head and told her that unfortunately Michael wouldn't be back as he had ended his life the night prior. He had left a note apologizing to the young lady that he had upended the life of when he had accidentally killed a young man whilst driving the bus many years prior. No one knew what he meant, because no one knew who the young man's partner was. When the driver told her, Raquel knew exactly who the letter was meant for, her....

This shook Raquel, sent her spiraling out of control. She ended her relationship, cut her hair off, started partying hard again and held house parties. On the night of what should have been her wedding night, she had a house party that would change her world so deeply that no one saw coming. Dressed in a tight black singlet top and pants so tight that it made airbrush clothing blush and stilettos, she partied the night away. When she woke up the next morning she felt rather unwell but didn't think anything of it. Showered and got on with cleaning the house. Counting the numbers of her empties she was shocked at how little she thought she had drank only to be told that she was sipping drinks of others and was getting quite wild. Nothing surprised Raquel anymore. Just five short weeks later, Raquel started feeling quite ill. Most mornings were a struggle not to be sick. Starting to take too much time her off her boss warned her to sort it or lose her job. Raquel went home and did the only thing she could think of, she took a pregnancy test. Certain it would be negative because she had been told she would never be able to have children, you can imagine the shock when two lines showed up. Absolutely crapping herself she rang Antonio and Rachael, to tell them. They were by her side instantly. On the Monday, Rachael had taken her for her ultrasound, confirming the baby and too work out how far along. By the end of that appointment, Raquel's world turned even further upside down. The dates worked out to the night that should've been her wedding night. As far as anyone could recall she hadn't been with anyone but she did wake up feeling odd in more ways then one. Further recalling comments of out of control behavior, Raquel cried to her parents unsure if she could keep the baby because she had been drugged and raped. Her parents supported her and promised to be by her side through the whole thing. Raquel started to report the incident to Police but was quickly quietened by outsiders. Her house was externally ransacked and a fire started on her patio with her locked inside. Luckily she had a rear exit. Raquel called her parents and the Police. The officers arrived and one was known to Raquel through Antonio's work with the defense force. He pulled Raquel aside and mentioned he had seen the report made. While he was talking to Raquel he asked if it had been mentioned that should she get DNA from the baby when it was born to see if they could find the perpetrator, that should they find him it would have to be revealed in court exactly how the DNA was collected. He advised that as unfair as it was that it would open the door for the same person to seek rights to see the child. This gave Raquel a lot to think about...

2007

The time flew by. Month by month she felt her little man grow! He was her miracle, of course she kept him. In the March, her grandmother died. This rocked Raquel but it meant that she got to see her brother again which was special given that she was pregnant. August rolled around and it was time for her little man, Timothy to enter the world. He was stubborn, much like she had been some 19 years prior. Finally, after 36 horrendous hours, he cried for the first time and suckled at her breast. It was a hard couple days after his arrival but finally time for mum and bub to go home. Things didn't improve for Raquel. She struggled badly with depression. She spoke to her parents and they helped as much as they could but she just couldn't work past it so she turned to the bottle. Drinking heavily things didn't get any better. The partying started again. Finally, a family friend reached out and encouraged her to volunteer as a fire fighter. Laughing Raquel didn't see how it would help but went to the open day anyway. Her eyes were opened and after her basic training she was finally focused and started feeling good again. She did what she could for her little man when she wasn't helping with fires. It was a hard summer but very rewarding. Sadly her little man, adapted to life with his grandparents very well so Raquel enrolled in another trade certificate to gain some more skills.

Late 2000's

Between school and firefighting, Raquel could feel her mental strength coming back in a lot of ways but also declining in others. Watching her little man be raised by her parents was hard so Raquel disconnected further and did what she could to never be home. In February of 2009, Raquel lost her Pop. Her shining light, her mockingbird when she didn't want to face the world. Going back into her downward spiral she left fire fighting and her course. She met Robert, they fell in love quickly and spent every waking moment together. They moved in together while Raquel waited to hear about a new job that she was excited about. When the job finally started she became focused again and pushed herself to the limit. Her and Robert went about life, going out when they could and working most of the time. Then Raquel had an accident at work. Nearly breaking her leg she ended up with a form of complex regional pain syndrome that made the pain from her injury hard to treat. She went to stay with her parents for a week because they had disability friendly showers. During this time, Raquel was quite sick. Barely keeping any food down or sleeping constantly, Rachael questioned her. Raquel just put it down to healing from the injury. Rachael wasn't convinced but let it go. The following week surprise number two was revealed and Robert proposed to Raquel. They were to be married in three months or so they thought. Unfortunately Robert wasn't ready to be a dad. Raquel knowing this chose to move to her parents place.

December of 2010, shaped Raquel in ways that she could never imagine. Shaun and Tiffany had broken up and Shaun moved back to Australia moving in with Raquel. On his first night home, Raquel took him out to the club, yeah I know right pregnant and able to dance the night away. Shaun and Raquel returned home in the wee hours of the morning. Still to wired to sleep, they laid on Shaun's bed talking. Because they hadn't grown up together, they didn't have the normal bond of a brother and sister. Sadly, Shaun in a very drunken state did something he would regret for the remaining years of his life. Waking the next day, Shaun asked Raquel to keep what had happened to herself. This in itself broke Raquel leaving her feeling dirty, destroyed and devastated that she couldn't talk to anyone about it.

March of 2011 seen the arrival of Raquel's second little man Nathan. She loved him dearly and couldn't wait to get him home to enjoy watching him grow. The first month was great but things went downhill from there. Robert being the ever not so compassionate person that he was made things hard for Raquel. This triggered her depression again, except this time it was worse. She had not only suicidal thoughts but she was having homicidal thoughts. One night after an attempt on her life, friends encouraged her to reach out to Robert to take responsibility of Nathan. As soon as this occurred, things spiraled further for Raquel. She had fallen out with Antonio and Rachael because they thought she had given up. Then she told them what Shaun had done. Antonio didn't handle it well and ended up in hospital. Rachael abused her and kicked her out.

Time went on and Raquel moved to try and work on herself and her life but she found the party scene much more enticing. Further pushing herself deeper into depression she latched onto anyone that would show her love leading to her heart being broken so many times she lost count. She had made some amazing life long friends along the way that did what they could to help her. She had been cheated on, lied to and then mentally destroyed. She made even more attempts on her life. Finally, in 2017, after reconnecting with Antonio and Rachael, she started a business with her skills. She was doing so well. Finally, their girl was back. They were proud of her. Especially considering she was dealing with health issues, back injuries and attempting family court to see her youngest little man Nathan.

In 2019, after many years of their own issues Rachael and Antonio got divorced which devastated Raquel. She had always looked up to her parents and what they had. If she was honest that was what she wanted for herself. A never ending, heartfelt marriage. A relationship that was unbreakable. While supporting her father Antonio, Raquel came across a version of Rachael that if she were honest she knew always existed. Rachael turned so rude and demeaning towards Raquel. Even gave Raquel the feeling that she was not wanted in the first place. Yet again Raquel was broken but she had no idea how to even process it given her father needed her support. As time went on Raquel truly begun to accept the moments that she had glossed over her whole life thinking it was just temporary but Rachael really meant to be liked that. This further crushed Raquel’s world. Not long after the separation, Antonio found out he had prostate cancer. Raquel knew she had to remain strong, but all she could think was oh god here we go again, life is about to be changed more than my wildest thoughts. Antonio made it through surgery and had to start chemo. Chemo was rough but other than a minor setback where his blood was poor quality from the treatment he did well. Raquel was lucky to have the support of James during this. He helped her with her business between sending clients and helping with advertising.

2020

The year the world collapsed! COVID 19. Wow what a year. Everyone started the year off watching other countries with high infection rates go into lock down. Finally March was Australia's turn. In an instant lives were shut down we weren't allowed to work unless your role was considered essential, kids couldn't go to school, hell you couldn't even go out with out a bloody mask on. Raquel running her beauty business and looking after Antonio, felt the pinch in an instant. She was locked in a house with dogs, kids, Antonio and James. No one was able to leave unless necessary so tensions became high. Luckily pretty quickly James was able to go back to work as he did a pretty solitary role. It was still tough and Raquel tried her hardest to keep her business alive but adapting to the rules creating a sellable option. But still it wouldn't be enough for her and James. By June things were beyond rough and they ended up separating. This led Raquel, Antonio, Timothy and dogs to jump on the road to the vast west of the country.

Just 10 short days later the new family dynamic landed in Baldivis Western Australia to start their new lives. Timothy had to go straight into high school as his age left him to old for primary school, so it was a very rough transition. Raquel got her business set up and running again. The first 11 months went fast. Then through a Facebook Singles group Raquel met Clayton. There first meeting was fueled with lust and passion. This led to Raquel inviting him over for dinner the same night except he never went home again. It was what she thought was love at first site. To begin with things were great for maybe the first 4 months. Then the reality hit. Clayton wasn't the man he had portrayed himself as. He was a mean alcoholic and dope head. Raquel kept giving him chances much to her father's dismay. Then just days before Christmas Clayton proposed. Out of the blue, while Christmas shopping. Raquel said yes and things settled for a little while but it didn't last. Raquel got the wedding planned pretty quick because she didn't want cold feet to set in for either person. Truth of the matter it already had for her but she drowned out the thoughts. Finally, in May the day came for the couple to exchange vows. What started of as a wet day quickly opened up into a glorious sunny day for the couple. The afternoon went quickly but was celebrated with family and friends. Raquel looked like a goddess in her simple a-line dress with long flowing locks. The couple had a very basic reception with a sit down meal but no dancing, something that disappointed Raquel.

The couple settled into married life, looking after their children. Clayton had a little girl Jade with his ex partner. It was almost like history repeating itself by seeing an older couple finding each other later in life with children. The only difference would be this couple would not be able to add to their family. A couple weeks later, after little Miss Jade turned 7, Clayton and Raquel got sick with covid and ended up quarantined for one week. When they were able to get back to life, they went to pick up Jade from her grandparents for their weekend visit. Not knowingly that married life was about to be put on the back burner and their lives would be changed in ways nobody ever want to have happen. While they were driving home from Clayton's parents, Jade in a meek voice from the back seat asked if she could tell them something. What followed was every parents nightmare. Little Jade had been sexually assaulted while she was in her mother's care. It was done by friends of her 13 year old brother. To this day there is still no full information as to the level of penetration but as far as the couple are aware it only went as far as the use of a vape on the poor little girl.

Raquel having had her own experience with such a abominable, horrid act went straight into protective mode and called the police. She was not going to let this little girl suffer like she had. It was extremely hard for Raquel given she was still many years later dealing with her own trauma but she pushed through. Clayton broke badly. His alcoholism hit an all time high. Between drinking the better part of a bottle of cheap vodka and a carton of beer a night, everything was left up to Raquel to deal with. A family court battle ensued. This put a very excessive strain on the newly married couple. Raquel trying to remain strong and stoic, stuck by Clayton's side dealing with the lawyers, writing the affidavits, taking Jade to counseling all while working. Clayton and Raquel fought heavily, this further fueled Raquel's doubts that she had on her wedding day. By the end of that year Raquel was shutting down her beauty business so that she could try and focus more on the big issues. She went back to her hospitality work as it was easier to book days off work than it was to let clients down.

As if this couple weren't being tested enough. In March of 2023, Raquel whilst she was preparing for work, collapsed. After being rushed to hospital, by Antonio because Clayton refused to go near a hospital, it was revealed that her health condition from the years prior had flared quite chronically and she had a massive ovarian cyst that may possibly be cancer. Clayton, knowing that Raquel, was missing her sister from another mister, organized for a special visitor. The following month Raquel got to catch up with Anya. The week that they hung out was so liberating for Raquel. She missed her honorary sister so much. The celebrated Raquel's birthday during the week as well. Raquel was devastated when the week was over especially because Clayton had been a right prick during the time Anya was there. She knew that it had left a bad taste in her sisters mouth, but what could she do. Divorce certainly wasn't an easy process and the family court stuff for Jade was still very much active, she couldn't desert the little girl either.

Raquel, still quite sick and unable to work consistently, finally got to see specialists and was told she would need a hysterectomy and urgently. This shook the couple, even though they were done having children, knowing the consequences of such a huge change to the body was something the couple was now having to face. Surgery was scheduled. Prior to surgery another hearing was scheduled for the court case around Jade. It was quite confronting for Raquel, as Clayton ripped abuse on her the whole way to court. He went so low as to throw at her that she had given up on her youngest child and that she had no rights to feelings of hurt when it came to possible outcomes of Jade's case. This hurt Raquel, she finally seen exactly what Anya had seen and why Anya had to distance herself after her visit. The hearing went well in the end but the damage was already done. Raquel stayed but she was far from happy. On her way home from court Raquel got some good news. She had been accepted into her hospitality management course and would be starting the following week. She was still unwell and weak, but she wasn't going to let it stop her.

Raquel begun her course, and was doing great. She was excelling at her studies and was getting so far ahead. Whilst she struggled in some of the practical classes due to having to be on her feet for hours at a time, she kept trying to remain strong. One night she had to leave early from class as the pain she was suffering pretty bad. When she got home, having taken her pain therapy and attempting the use of marijuana, nothing was changing. Clayton, the ever useless husband, drunk and unable to drive, told her to call an uber. Thank god she had a friend that did just so and also had a recommendation for a hospital that may help. Reece came and got her taking her to the women and children's hospital in Perth. Lucky he did because what would ensue was a one week stay on a ketamine infusion. The goal was to reset the pain receptors but upon further tests it was revealed that it would work. Her ovarian cyst had grown quite significantly since it was first found. Then started the cancer testing. This scared Raquel. When she was released from hospital, she was to return to her specialist for the results.

The day came to get the results. Clayton was supposed to take Raquel to the appointment but in his selfish way left for the school run without her. This pissed Antonio off. He knew Raquel was scared and had been sitting silent for months about what Clayton was putting her through. As the couple had been driving Antonio's car, Antonio rang the police in an attempt to get the car back so he could go with his daughter to the doctor to get the results. Antonio, now quite deaf, was having trouble on the phone talking to the police so Raquel took over the call but due to her very heightened emotional state, the police were worried and dispatched officers to the house suspecting domestic violence. The Sargent and constable arrived. In trying to calm Raquel down, she revealed what they suspected that not only was Clayton emotionally abusive but he was forcing her to conceal that he was growing dope at the house. They had smelled it when walking up the driveway. Unfortunately, this meant that under the law, Raquel had to be placed under arrest until preliminary investigations were held. Detectives arrived, spoke to Antonio and Raquel separately. Raquel was so angry. She took it out on the officers, especially when they had to take her medication away from her. This led to Raquel shoving her hands in the face of the senior officer nearly punching him demanding that he places cuffs on her if she is under arrest. She knew she was going to miss her appointment and asked them to call the surgeon to reschedule for her. By luck an appointment had opened up for the Monday.

Detectives finished their preliminary and other than knowing the location of the plants, the detectives knew that Raquel wasn't involved so released her from custody. The female detective that attended, spoke to Raquel about the emotional abuse she was suffering and advised for a domestic violence order. Raquel wasn't keen on this as she felt they were better saved for physical violence. The detective advised that Clayton would be placed on a temporary restraining order so as to give time for Raquel to reconsider. They then proceeded to the school to arrest Clayton for the cultivation of marijuana.

The next day a friend of the couple reached out to Raquel to see if there was anything she could do to help the couple get back on track but there was nothing that could be done. Later that night Raquel and Clayton went out for coffee. Raquel knew she shouldn't but she didn't just want to give up so easily. Clayton pulled every love bombing trick he could on Raquel and once again she was under his spell. DICKHEAD! The next day even though the order was still active for another 24 hours Raquel let Clayton back in the house. He took her to her appointment the next day. Thankfully for the couple they were told with excitement that the cancer tests were negative so back on track for surgery two weeks later.

Antonio, was devastated that his daughter hadn't gotten out with the chance that she had been presented by the police. Seeing more and more of what Anya had seen earlier in the year he packed himself up and moved into aged care. This hurt Raquel and she couldn't understand. The classic narcissistic personality of Clayton put his twist on it and had Raquel believing that everyone was deserting her not that they were seeing what he was doing to her. Raquel grieved silently, she loved her daddy and sister and no matter what couldn't understand what had happened to the relationship. Finally, surgery week arrived and Raquel headed up to the hospital with Clayton. She was scared, life was about to change dramatically. Her surgery went well albeit took a hell of a lot longer than it was supposed to. It was revealed during the surgery that her endometriosis had grown significantly and had binded organs together pretty badly. There was a couple close calls. The surgeon stop looking for leisons at the two and half hour mark as the more he looked the more he found. He was happy with he had achieved but knew it was still a very long road ahead for Raquel.

Raquel pushed herself hard for the next three weeks to recover as quickly as possible, she had to get back to work especially now that Antonio had moved out. Starting back at work and Raquel felt great. By the end of the day she was swollen and hurting but she still enjoyed having a purpose. She got offered promotions and was head hunted for better job roles at even bigger better venues. Over the next six months a lot changed for the couple. One venue let her go after the busy Christmas season but she fell on her feet quickly. She got a new job at a killer venue right on the water with great opportunities. She thrived in ways that she hadn't done in a very long time. The customers loved her, the events were amazing, brides were over the moon with the never ending skill set of this amazing duty manager.

The couple had moved into Clayton's parents home prior to starting the job but they made it work. The kids were doing well or so Raquel thought. The arguments between Clayton and Raquel got worse. One day it finally got physical. Clayton once again put Raquel down for not being able to look after her children, who were now both out of her care. Raquel responded with punching Clayton in the arm while he was driving. Not her proudest moment but she had no voice left, she didn't know what else to do. The argument escalated and resulted in Raquel packing her stuff to leave. In the process Clayton forced the keys to her car into her chest leaving and imprint and bruise. Raquel left and went to stay with friends.

The next day, scared of the future, the possibility of divorce, having nowhere to go and loosing the last of the children that had a piece of her heart, Raquel returned. Clayton vowed to change and to try to be more supportive. Raquel hoped this was the wake up call that he needed. Sadly it was not. Mere weeks later after yet more arguing, Clayton's mother tried to take over with Jade. Clayton put his own spin things to Raquel. Dance practice for recital was coming up, Raquel had work. She sent Jade to go get ready but of course Lucille (Clayton's mother) tried to overstep pissing Raquel off. Raquel stood up for herself, something she had never had the guts to do to her own mother Rachael. Steve, Clayton’s father, responded with the family were to move out. This angered Raquel because where the hell were they supposed to go. Rentals weren't easy to come by and caravan parks were to expensive to stay at. Raquel and Clayton did score a break though and were offered a payment plan on an older caravan and friends had land for the couple to park on. Raquel returned to work the following week having getting her little family set up, and unfortunately lost her job due to some nasty staff at work making false reports.

Again devastated that she was failing her family, Raquel's mental health begun to tank. Clayton didn't do anything to help the process, constantly taking everything out on her, drinking heavily, spending money on dope that wasn't available. Still quietly suffering physical pain from her condition and the surgery, Raquel tried to remain strong. After the school holidays the couple had planned to move to the deep south west, the town at the end of the road. Over the course of the holiday's Jade's mother made some very nasty allegations, accusing Raquel of molesting Jade. Apparently Jade felt forced to shower with and would often refuse to shower. It was all lies. While at times Jade showered with Raquel, they both had bikinis on and it was literally so that Raquel could wash Jade's long thick hair especially after dance hair was done. Violet, Jade's mother, refused to return the child to the couple. Once again the couple were up against family court. Already exhausted before even beginning, Raquel put on a brave face and went about the Child Safety Investigations, Family court paperwork and proceedings. The first hearing didn't go well. Clayton stormed out of the courtroom making threats against Violet and the Judge, leaving Raquel to deal with the aftermath. The judge ordered the court officer to check on Raquel who was in tears in the lobby. What was Raquel going to do, her worst fear, the reason she had stayed with Clayton was gone, her marriage was further tanking, her health was dodgy at best and now, Clayton was loosing his shit in front of people, revealing what Raquel had been suffering at home. The courts were concerned about domestic violence but Raquel didn't know what to do, where was she going to go. She hadn't spoken to Anya in about 18 months, would she even be welcome if she reached out.

So Raquel, did the only thing that she thought she could do, she suppressed her feelings, carried on and moved to the south west with Clayton. Feeling even further isolated then she already did, Raquel put on a brave face when going out in public but inside she was broken, a shell of the person she normally was. In an attempt to feel normal, like she was achieving something, Raquel joined the local fire brigade and marine rescue crews. When she was the crew or at a incident she felt alive, like she was apart of something. This pissed Clayton off because he could see her light slowly coming back. Whenever she was home he would do whatever he could to dull her light, his drinking worsened again and his use of dope increased as well. Anytime he had none and the couple had no money he blamed Raquel not wanting to take accountability for the fact that he was spending it on alcohol or dope. He justified it with they are just half strength beers and the dope is to help with my pain and depression.

Late in 2024, Violet finally had a change of heart and wanted to allow Clayton and Raquel to start seeing Jade again. Raquel was hopeful this was the change the couple needed so went about renovating the caravan to make it more comfortable for Jade, she was 11 now and fast becoming a little lady. Clayton and Raquel spent as much time as possible with Jade. Raquel attended her firefighting/marine rescue conference and took a lot of knowledge back to the crews to assist with the upcoming seasons. Even though the couple were seeing Jade often, Clayton continued to grow even more resentful of Raquel as Raquel did of him. They argued more and more. Then it came time for the Christmas holidays with Jade. The couple were excited though Raquel was worried because they had found out that come the new year, Clayton would be out of a job due to a government decision. A whole industry shut down effective January 1st.

Christmas came and went. It was a hard time for Jade. She was dealing with her own issues around her mother while seeing her father fall apart of the future of his life. What she seen though was Raquel remain strong and continue to work to keep the family together. As the time for Jade to return home drew closer she remained firm that she wasn’t going back and that she wanted to stay. Raquel knew this was going to start a whole new war with Violet but she was not going to force this beautiful young lady to go back if she didn’t feel safe. Australia day long weekend came, Clayton’s friends came down to support him through the trials and tribulations he was dealing with after the collapse of his industry. One night towards the end of that weekend, Raquel not feeling well went to bed early with a migraine, while Clayton sat up drinking with his mates. Clayton filmed a video threatening the minister that had shut his industry down then posted it to Facebook. Well what was to come was going to be the final straw for Raquel. She was done, no longer could she pretend that things were ever going to get better if she stayed with Clayton. While she did support him in court, she was broken inside and honestly didn’t care about life anymore. Often wishing either a tree would smash down on the car or that she would go to a fire call and the truck would get stuck in a burn over taking her life.

In February, after getting Jade enrolled and started in a new school, Raquel had some event work for a music festival. She had a good mate that she worked with, Shrek, she knew he also worked on the mines. When she went to say hello to him, he could see she wasn’t in a good way but couldn’t pick what was wrong. He asked and all Raquel could reply was “I don’t care what work it is but find me a job to get me the fuck out of this town before I kill him.” Instantly Shrek knew what he had to do. He advised Raquel to get her forklift license and to stay put he would sort it. The following week she received a call from a colleague of Shrek’s asking for some information on her skill set and what she was willing to do. The following week while she was in Perth hanging some drapery for a wedding she was to meet up with the Operations Manager of a Scrap Yard at the mines in the Goldfields.

Damn, life was about to get interesting, she was about to get a fresh start a chance to focus on herself and time for reflection. She hoped this would give her the chance to get back to the her that Clayton had met and to find the love she had for him the early days. Raquel definitely wasn’t expecting what was to come next. Because I mean why wouldn’t the universe test her even further as if she hasn’t been tested enough in her life. She knew her new life was starting just after Easter and in time for her birthday. Was 38 going to be the chance for Raquel to finally have the happy life she craved….

Easter came and went then it was the day before she was due to fly to the mines. Clayton took Raquel to the nearest big town to catch a bus the rest of the way. Clayton, Jade and Raquel had brunch together, sort of a pre-birthday celebration since Raquel was going to be away for the actual date. However, what Clayton did next really should not have been a shock to Raquel. He chose to high tail it home to his friends because when was spending time with your wife important when she wasn’t going to be home for two weeks. So Raquel went to the nearest bar to wait and unwind. Here she met the gorgeous Cheyanne. God what a breath of fresh air she was. Talking across the bar while Raquel downed a vodka, they connected and instantly became great friends. But time was short and finally it was time for Raquel to catch the bus. At the other end Reece collected her dropped her to where she would be staying for the night. She had an early start to get ready for. She would be picked up at 4:30am the next morning to get to the airport in time for her flight to the Goldfields.

When Raquel arrived to the Goldfields, she was excited, exhilarated and ready to conquer her new challenge. Her mate Shrek was going to arrive to site on the weekend. She quickly slipped into her new role as a Yard hand and enjoyed the crew she was working with. The heat was a bit of a challenge as she had just spent two years in the south west and a heat wave down there was 23 degrees. On the Sunday, while feeling excited for her birthday, she was alive and smashing through the work. She had finished a task that she was given and spotted the ops manager in his ute. As she walked over to the ute she also set eyes on the tantalising figure leaning against the side of the ute. She was a married woman so why was the site of another man exciting her and making her wonder what he could do to her. He was tall and strong. When she finished approaching she told the ops manager that she had finished the task at hand all while side eyeing the man beside her. The manager introduced her to Darian, one of the truck drivers for the company. He had already pulled his sunnies ever so slightly down just enough so he could look over the top of them. When Raquel turned to shake the hand of Darian, theirs eyes connected and she instantly felt like she was home. This scared her because as she was already thinking, she is married so why, why,  why is this man tantalising her.

She went home to camp that night and couldn’t concentrate, the figure, the tantalising Darian was on her mind. She woke the next morning feeling alive it was her birthday. She went to crib and got herself breakfast, normally she only had toast and coffee but today she went all out. All the staff that she worked with wished her a happy birthday as they walked in to get their coffees. On site later that day, Darian came to site to hvac the oil out of ibcs. However before he did he and Shrek jumped on the radio and grumpily demanded for Raquel to attend the shed. She promptly did not knowing what she had done wrong. She was greeted with balloons, chocolate and lollies. The boys had wanted to help her celebrate her birthday. Bless them, this made her feel good because she was missing her family back home, well mainly Jade. A little while later Darian came racing into the area that Raquel was working and dragged her away for another job. Working through IBCS in a remote back section of the yard. This kind of excited Raquel because she knew this would give her the chance to get to know this exciting person the universe had delivered her. They talked about everything and anything, shared banter and even shared phone numbers. That night while trying to talk to Clayton she could feel the distance and resentment growing. They tried to talk but the conversation just didn’t flow. The next day Darian was again required at site and was working closely alongside Raquel this time. They shared their favourite music, they continued to talk. The conversation was easy and free. The friendship that was forming came with some great cuddles, something Raquel was craving badly. That night the boys invited her to the other camp to have drinks for her birthday and to chat.

One week into her first swing and Raquel had confirmed her worst fears, her marriage was not going to survive. There was nothing left to save. This killed her inside because she only ever planned on getting married once and never ever wanted to get divorced like her own parents had. What could she do though, Clayton had no intention of trying to better his life after his legal issues earlier in the year. Had no plans of getting help with his mental health, the list was endless. Raquel had secured some additional work for when she was home, something that as much as she didn’t want to do she knew she had to for the sake of the family to get ahead financially. When she called Clayton to tell him, he ripped abuse at her because he was needy and wanted her to not do any other work. She hung up because she couldn’t deal with this not while she was trying to work. The team were busy trying to load containers with grease for disposal. Forklifts were running around left and right, it wasn’t safe for her to deal with at the time. She told Clayton she would call him back during her lunch break and they could talk. The whole morning she was emotional but pushed through. Secretly thinking of Darian and imagining what he could do to her if she was single. No Raquel you cant do this, your married your mind should not be wandering.

Lunchtime rolled round. Raquel wasn’t hungry but attempted to eat her lunch while speaking to Clayton. An argument ensued, with Clayton telling her that he hadn’t organised anything to celebrate her birthday and he was fucking thankful he hadn’t because now she was deserting him for longer to work. Absolutely pissed off and sick of being treated this way when she knew she was worth so much more, she snapped back forcefully that she was done. The line in the sand was drawn and she would start the separation process because this toxicity was not healthy for her, him or Jade. Falling apart, she let the tears fall. She never wanted that to happen at work especially when she didn’t want to be viewed as the princess of the site. She remained hidden in the crib room on site. The boss walked in to check on her, she kept her eyes hidden so that he wouldn’t see that she had been crying. He said that it had been a day and began to ask how she was enjoying it when Raquel couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. The boss knew exactly what was going on and did his best to support her. He told her to take it easy that there wasn’t much to be done until Darian arrived in the truck. Said he would go find out how long that would be to which Raquel replied with he was only an hour away. Darian already knew what was going on she had messaged him.

When Darian arrived, the first thing he did was to come and give Raquel a hug to let her know she wasn’t alone, he understood how she felt as he had left his marriage a year prior. They went to where they had to go to work on the site. When they got down there, while one very full IBC was being drained, Darian pulled her in for another cuddle. This broke Raquel and she broke into tears again. Walking back over to the forklift she took a seat in the hope that she would be able to settle and not show her heart to Darian any further. That was not going to happen though. Darian walked over and spun her around, hugging her deeply as she broke again. Something in her wanted so badly to kiss him but he wouldn’t let her. He told her that as much as she wanted to come around for another drink that she would have to deal with the situation at hand. Later that evening back at camp, not even wanting dinner, called Clayton. In his typical narcissistic fashion he made the call all about him and how this was destroying him. He promised he would do whatever Raquel needed him to do so that they could save the marriage. What was Raquel to do? She had once loved this man and while she may have had doubts as she prepared to walk down the aisle she still had and she had probably stayed a lot longer than she should have. But she also knew that too much damage had been done especially that year for things to ever be right again, not even thinking about the fact that she could see herself connecting with another man while married. Definitely not something she was going to do given that Rachael had done it to Antonio only 7 years prior. Towards the end of the call, while an absolute mess knowing that things had changed more than she could even have anticipated, she made it clear to Clayton that things were done and she would pick her stuff up when she returned from work the following week.

The rest of the night was rough on Raquel, she spent the night crying. Darian was a great support to her. He spent the night on the phone to her so she could ramble, talk, cry what ever she needed. What she really needed was a cuddle. She was broken, hurting inside. However as it was after quiet time hours he was not able to come to her camp to be able to give her a cuddle. Around midnight he encouraged her to attempt to get some sleep. She let him go, knowing he was a truck driver he needed sleep. She dozed off but two short hours later she was wide awake again, crying and wishing things were different. She finally cried herself to sleep again around 3:30 but just one short hour later the alarm was going off. Darian called her to see how she was feeling. After a shower she sent a photo, her eyes were hanging somewhere down near the Antarctic. She was not safe to go to site and she knew it. Darian told her to message the boss and await his opinion so she did. As it approached 5:30 time to leave for site, there was still no reply from the boss so Darian advised her to go around to the bosses room to speak to him. As she approached the boss was walking out and knew instantly that something was going to need to be arranged. He agreed that she was not safe to be on site and sent Raquel back to bed. Raquel messaged Darian to let him know, he was to be at her camp washing the trucks for the day which made him happy as he could look after Raquel.

Later that day Darian, knowing in his heart that it was probably too soon, asked Raquel out to dinner on the Friday night at the local pub. She was honoured that he wanted to take her out and agreed. What would ensue was an amazing night that she never wanted to have end. When she returned to her room she was on a high but knew she had to get some sleep. The rest of her swing went flying by in a blur, most days were spent with Darian either at work or back at his camp drinking. Finally Tuesday rolled round, Raquel’s anxiety started to fly right on in. She was going to have to face Clayton the next day after she landed. Her flight was fast, too fast for her liking because it bought the moment of having to face Clayton closer and closer. By the time she got to Darian’s car, she started to have a panic attack. Calling Darian he asked her not to go alone or to wait until he was home on the weekend to go with her. She agreed and put it off till the Sunday. She didn’t want to ruin the weekend ahead nor did she want to end up in hospital.

The next few days were a blur until Darian made his way home from site. She missed him, how could one person invade her thoughts so quickly and so thoroughly. On Friday she picked Darian up from the airport and they made the slow drive back to the lower end of the metro area before making the drive to their weekend getaway in Busselton. Darian was even hotter than she remembered. She couldn’t wait to spend two glorious nights alone with him. She was supposed to work on the Saturday but was so glad when her presence wasn’t needed so she could stay with Darian. Finally the day arrived to head to get her stuff, god she was glad that she had Darian by her side. She was not looking forward to seeing Clayton nor was she exciting about seeing a heartbroken Jade. This poor little girl was facing another broken homelife in a very short time, but Raquel just could not stay and show her that love meant putting up with less that you deserve. Clayton stayed clear and refuse to talk to Raquel, somewhat of a relief but Raquel also wanted to say goodbye and give him the closure that she needed herself. Jade wanted to come with her and Darian for a drive to the storage shed so that she could spend sometime with the momma that she had fallen in love with over the past five years. They shouted her a hot chocolate and showed her care and compassion. When everything was packed they dropped Jade back and headed home. This was hard for Raquel but she knew it had to be done.

Back at Darian’s place she got to know his parents and she unpacked her stuff. She had no intention of ‘moving’ in with him so quick but she had nowhere else to leave her stuff. Any way they had planned to go camping etc as much as they could when they were both on leave from site. Wednesday rolled around faster than she would’ve liked, but it was time to return to site and start  her second swing. She was excited even though Darian would be an extra few days before he returned. She could do this then he would be there. The first few days were great and she talked to Darian when she could. By Friday the weather had turned and she quickly went into site safety supervisor unofficially as she was the only one with training on site to keep everyone safe from the lightening that was shooting around the site. There was a lot of scrap metal at the yard so it was even more dangerous. Raquel enjoyed the challenge and was excited to see if this could become a future job role. The weekend started to change her opinion of this though as she woke up Saturday feeling extremely sore and tired. She was praying this wasn’t her condition flaring. Deep down she knew it was but wasn’t keen to admit it. In front of the Health and Safety Inspector, she casually mentioned to her boss that she had some muscle fatigue and that she maybe sighted off the forklift a little more than usual but she would still work to the best of her ability as she did not want to let the team down. The boss baulked at this but he also did not know the underlying cause nor did he care enough to ask.

Raquel got through the weekend and finally the day came for Darian to return to site. He made a special trip out to site as she was still in a lot of pain and needed more pain meds. It was so good to see him even if it was for a fleeting moment. The boss was still being an arse about the fact she was in pain. By this stage she knew it was her endometriosis and had just spent the last five days doing long 12 hours days flat out on the forklift, she was the only certified yard hand there to be able to load trucks and to move equipment around the yard. Darian looked after her where he could and even noticed she wasn’t her usual bubbly self. The rest of the swing went by moderately well even with the raft of issues that she faced but she felt like she handled them well and found solutions to keep the site running as smooth as possible. She was definitely looking forward to heading home this swing and putting her feet up. Darian had booked a massage for her and she was set to get her hair done. Raquel was anxious about returning to site the next swing especially given the countless issues that were faced the previous swing, but at least her biggest joy of being on site would be along in a matter of days. Getting back to site she noticed a definite shift in the attitude of the boss and the way he communicated with her, but she went about her tasks that she was given. The biggest shift that she noticed was that the boss wasn’t letting her drive any of the forklifts or have anything to do with the trucks but she tried not to think too much of it.

Darian arrived on the Friday evening, they met up and went to dinner at the pub. Now, on the last swing there had been talk of there being a no hard liquor policy being introduced which as much as that annoyed Raquel because she only drank spirits, as far as she was aware nothing had been set in place. The next morning during the team meeting, a couple of things were said and the boss gave a distinctly rude reply to Raquel in front of the whole crew. Trying to not think to much about it, Raquel kept her mouth shut. Then at the end of the meeting, the boss asked if she had consumed hard liquor the night prior. Raquel answered honestly that she had because as far as she was aware the policy was not in place yet but now that she had been made aware that it was more likely to be put in place she apologised and said she would not drink any further. Raquel then continued on with her day even though the boss was giving complete asshole vibes. She even made contact with the general manager as she felt this needed to be taken higher. Just prior to Raquel planning on going to lunch while the other yard hand finished his break, the boss pulled up then walked over to her and sacked her. This came out of the blue. Whilst things had been tense she did not see any signs that she was going to loose her job. Angry and pissed off, Raquel went off her tree. Not the most professional thing to do but after what she had put her body through when she had sick leave there that she could’ve used, and the lack of explanation as to what she had done wrong, she couldn’t help herself. She rang Darian, still going off he became distressed as he was too far away at a mine site doing a job. After Raquel collected her stuff she started walking up the driveway of the yard towards the highway. With how angry and emotional she was, she was absolutely prepared to walk the full 10km into town. Darian wouldn’t have it so told her to hang tight and he would organise someone to come collect her. He knew road trains frequently drove that stretch, combined with the risk of wild horses and cows that could charge her, he did not want her to walk.

Raquel flew home to Perth the next day. It was hard because all she wanted was to be in Darian’s arms when he wasn’t working. Not to be stopped from trying to get to a financially secure spot, Raquel started looking for work and into study options. She settled on doing a trainer and assessor course. She had many skills that she could pass her knowledge on from. Darian returned home and when her course started he sat at the college so that when she had breaks they could spend fleeting moments together. She was loving her course and loving the fact that she had Darian’s support of this new venture. By Friday evening, not only having a full brain her stomach was hurting with the tell tale signs of her endometriosis. Great just what she didn’t want. Raquel didn’t tell Darian, just kept it to herself. The spent the weekend doing some exploring and resting before Darian had to return to site. The night before Darian was due to return to site, they were cuddling in bed. Raquel began to get emotional leading her to cry. Darian asked what was wrong and she told it was the fact that this would be his first full swing away from her where she would not be following along with in days. Without Raquel even noticing, Darian had slipped a ring that he had given her off the necklace she was wearing and proposed to her. Raquel’s tears turned from something sad to tears of utter happiness. The next morning was the day that she had to say a physical goodbye to Darian for the next two weeks, she could do this. They had video chat and phone calls but it still not the same as being able to physically reach for him.

By lunchtime of her course, right around the time Darian was arriving at site, Raquel had to head home as she was borderline having to go to hospital with pain but remained stubborn. She was hopeful that if she went home and rested that she would pull up ok the next day. This was not to be. She was rushed to hospital the next day. This scared Darian, he hated not being beside his betrothed in her time of need. He immediately got the bosses to fly him home. Raquel wanted him by her side but didn’t intentionally do it in such a dramatic way. What would follow would be three insane months of trying to get the pain under control with no end in sight. Raquel ended up in hospital a further few times during this. Even a holiday they had planned together didn’t go to plan due to Raquels health. Everything was fast taking a toll on the couples relationship. By the end of Darian’s first swing after their holiday the writing was on the wall. He stood at the end of the bed and ended things with her. How could they go from ever so happy to over in just three months. Raquel returned to her home state of Queensland. The first month back was tough but Raquel pushed through with the support of some amazing people but most importantly from her dearest friend and sister Anya.